Worthless love dating a married man
Worthless love dating a married man - Sex chat in usa on phone
But the entire time I’ve been with him, I’ve stayed a mess.I met him at a time when my life was fraying, and he was doing very badly as well (he was living with his mom), and I’ve just kept going down. I take jobs and do them halfheartedly and then quit.
I don’t think you should give away everything you have just so you can finally tell the truth.
Even though I was never totally immobilized, the levels of self-hatred and rage and embarrassment and sadness I’ve waded through are off the charts.
It has taken me a long time to be unashamed enough to look at the truth about how disordered I’ve been for decades.
So instead of kicking out the best, most loyal person you’ve ever known simply because you hate yourself Will it be hard? Will you feel more afraid than you’ve ever been before? Once you tell your husband the whole, uncomfortable truth, it’ll be easier to make some space for yourself, to live on your own terms. You can shut out the last good person in your life. What got you here was your refusal to make a real connection, to tell the truth, to accept and embrace the truth about who you are and how angry and scared and ashamed you feel.
You can refuse connection, refuse to look at yourself, refuse to dig for the whole truth and instead blame the trees, blame the sky, blame the sun. You wrote the truest thing in your whole letter at the very end: “Maybe the reason I’ve behaved this way for so long is that the only friend who could ever tell me anything moved away.” But even It is exceptionally difficult to make progress with your depression when you don’t tell anyone (including yourself) the whole truth, when you shut people out and refuse to connect, when you tell people to drop it the second they want to talk about something real. Maybe some part of you is romanticizing the idea of losing everything. Only desperation and madness and chaos can excuse it.
In that moment, you feel exhausted and erased and scared and crumpled and hideous, but you can also see, through your tears, that you are loved.
You are a razed house, a pile of bricks and splintered lumber, and the sky is bright blue and the air is clear and bracing and you are loved, loved, loved.
Dear Polly, I love my husband, and I think he’s the best person by far I’ve ever been involved with.
I certainly never liked anyone enough to want to marry them before.
I know if we divorced it would throw my life into serious chaos. But I have to wonder if chaos is what I need, because nothing else — going to therapy, taking prescribed medication, writing in a goddamn journal, MICRODOSING lol — seems to be knocking me out of this sad, ghostlike existence.
Writing it out sounds so bitchy, like I’m blaming him for my unhappiness, which I’m not.
He’s smart and kind and funny and handsome and he laughs at soooooo many of my jokes and we have great chemistry.